The First Pep Rally Was Bomb, and I’ll Tell You Why

By Haley Yates

“All About that Bass” boomed through the loudspeakers. Short skirts twirled around bouncy, dance-y bodies. A huge crowd of wide-eyed freshmen packed the stands. The Netflix-themed pep rally kicked off the school year with enough energy and noise to send a mini pep-filled earthquake all the way to Pearce. Here are some highlight moments.

Freshman: I’ve included some notes specifically for you to clear up any confusion about a few things that may seem weird or confusing. You’re in high school now – everything is weird and confusing.

The Cleminator:

Government teacher Jared Clem is the King of Pep, and his talon claw thrusts and signature tumble/cartwheel thing will always be a Richardson legacy. Freshman: do not be alarmed. His enthusiasm may seem intimidating at first, but I promise his strange ways will soon win you over.

Government teacher Jared Clem enjoys last year's Homecoming pep rally.
Government teacher Jared Clem enjoys last year’s Homecoming pep rally. CLICK ON THUMBNAIL FOR GIF

That, uh, strip tease:

When the step team whipped off those Netflix-red cardigans and started werkin’ it all across the floor, I immediately wondered what was coming off next. Luckily, the rest of their outfits stayed on. Freshman: the sass is strong with this team. If you think you have what it takes to slap thighs with the best, the step team is looking for some new members. Talk to Jennifer Cheng for more info.


Them plaid skirts:

The “Pink Lady” jackets and “You Can’t Sit With Us” crop tops set a Mean Girl vibe that Rizzo from Grease would be proud of. The Eagelettes’ throw back to Ferris Bueller’s Day Off with the school girl outfits made me want to leave school immediately and cruise around town in my dads Honda Odyssey Minivan. I know it’s not as cool a the Ferrari in the movie, but I take what I can get.


Lookadouche’s return:

Just when I thought the heat of the Lookadoo scandal had simmered down, Eagle Guard raised a fuss once more with a stellar Justin look-a-like. Freshman: In case you missed it, Justin Lookadoo is a spiky haired misogynistic dude who visited RHS last year and preached his views on how “boys are better” and “girls can’t drive.” A lot of people here aren’t too fond of him.


The spirit stick fiasco:

The traditional “who can damage their vocal chords the most” contest always leaves my ears ringing. New emcee Brandon Rushing joined Jeff Bivins taking the great honor of waving the stick around the gym. Freshman: you may have won this round, but you just wait. The seniors are out to getcha.