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Halloween is the best holiday of the year. You get free candy from people you don’t even like, nobody judges you for dressing weird, and its socially acceptable to scare the candy corn out of your friends. All the witch movies you watched as a kid are playing on Disney Channel, and snacks start to come in those fun little ghost and pumpkin shapes. Also, who doesn’t love the word spooky? Or skeleton? Or sweets?! Since Halloween isn’t all about being chased around by a guy with a chainsaw, us kiddos need to keep it safe on the streets. Here are some of my patented “Haleyween” tips to make sure you have a scary-good time (hah see what I did there?).
1.Take candy from strangers: Well, this isn’t what your mom would tell you, but who listens to their mom anyway? When it comes to trick-or-treating (if that’s the route you’re going), you do need to be cautious of what you’re given. If the wrapper looks torn or like it’s been opened already DON’T EAT IT! Common sense people. If you don’t recognize the label, or “CANDY” is written on the wrapper in red sharpie, it probably means you live in a sketchy neighborhood, but still, DON’T EAT IT! If some creeper slips you a sly smile and some DOTS, then asks you to come back later for more, you should probably say “NO WAY JOSE! DOTS ARE FOR ROOKIES – HAND OVER SOME TWIZZLERS!” Bottom line: be sure to inspect your goods after you trade all your Tootsie Rolls for Three Musketeers.
2.Know your limit: Halloween falls on a Thursday this year, and that means no partyin’ hard till the weekend unless you want to show up to school friday looking like you forgot to take your zombie mask off. Even if you plan on chilling at home watching American Horror Story all night, skip the episode with the terrifying alien invasion – although Evan Peters is a total hunk in that episode – unless you want to be up all night freaking out because of that tree branch tapping against your window (oh lord, did that sound like a spaceship tractor beam to you?). Also, to you candy addicts – take it easy. Nobody wants to see your up-chucked candy corn and Hershey’s concoction smeared all over the tile in G hall Friday after the pep rally.
3.Have fun: The most cliché rule ever? Yeah, but also the most important. Whether you’re passing out candy to that weird kid who wears an eye patch and tutus – lord knows what he’ll be wearing on Halloween – or getting your thrill on at a haunted house, don’t be a Halloweenie. Even if you’re just at home, pop some popcorn, throw on some fake fangs and get in the Halloween spirit by hiding around the corner and screaming “boo!” when you’re sister walks by. It’ll be more satisfying when her look of terror is played up with halloween make-up anyway.
Don’t know what to do Thursday night? Here are some ideas:
·Trick or treating. I know most high school kids leave this to the youngsters, but free candy is free candy. Also, what’s more satisfying than taking a Milky Way from a 12-year-old girl wearing nike shorts and UGG boots who’s too cool for tacky costumes and free fun? Nothing.
·Dress up. The most exciting part of Halloweek (Oct.24-31) is digging through your closet, and your mom’s, for costume ideas. Halloween is the perfect excuse to wear those blue spandex pants you got at a thrift store two years ago, or that green feather boa you scored after St. Paddy’s day because it was on sale at Party City. Your outfit doesn’t even have to make sense, it just has to be creative. “I’m a part time gangster waitress who took a week off to vacation in the Bahamas. Hence the apron, lei and gold chains.”
·Haunted House/Hallowonderland. This is the absolute perfect excuse to get your fright fix while your little brother and sister go meet “Alice in Wonderland” characters. The haunted house (featuring a variety of common phobias) is sponsored and run by the Theatre Magnet and will be in the newly-renovated auditorium, so you don’t have to worry about getting lost in a creepy old warehouse downtown. It’s also pee-your-pants scary and features not only tons of shrieking theater kids in masks – as if theater kids aren’t scary enough – but also an epileptic’s nightmare of strobe lights and that sickeningly sweet smell of fog machines. Plus, if a creepy clown gets too close, you’ll know where to find them the next day.