Sophomore Zohaib Ali saw himself sitting in a desk during his history class. He saw himself blink, and his perspective suddenly switched to first person.
He looked around the classroom and saw all of the students talking and laughing while the teacher tried unsuccessfully to bring their attention to the front of the room.
Zohaib blinked again – only this time, he opened his eyes and it was completely dark. He could still hear the quiet scratch of pencils against paper, the high-pitched harmony of giggles between friends, and the monotonous drone of the teacher’s lecture. He could still feel his head moving, but his vision remained inescapably black.
Zohaib felt panic and he soon woke up shaking.
It was another nightmare. Another reminder of the reality Zohaib will soon face.
“Every time I lose my sight in those nightmares, it’s the same emotion and I’m scared,” Zohaib said. “When I lose my sight for real, I only hope I’ll be more at ease. I think I’ll find my way to cope and adjust as my condition progresses.”
Zohaib was born with a combination of nystagmus, an eye condition that causes involuntary eye movement, and astigmatism, a disorder where light fails to come to a single focus on the retina to produce a clear vision.
His eyesight has been slowly deteriorating since he was six-years-old. Currently, Zohaib’s vision has been reduced to about 60 percent capabilities.
Zohaib walks the halls of Richardson like any other student. He arrives early to school and waits in the hallway for his first period teacher to arrive. He kills time by playing on his phone, holding the screen less than two inches from his face so he can see the screen.
“It’s sort of a quiet life,” Zohaib said. “I can still see, but my vision is blurred and my eyes are strained at the end of the day. I just go from class to class not bringing any attention to myself. I don’t want everyone judging me, especially if they knew.”
Zohaib’s vision will continue to deteriorate until the projected age of 21. At that point, he will be completely blind.
Zohaib breathed heavy and shook as he tried to compose himself after the nightmare. For thirty minutes, he wiped the sweat off his forehead until he finally was able to sit up in his bed. He searched for his phone. The darkness of the night and his limited vision made it extremely difficult for him to locate his phone, but he managed to find it and dial for his friend Kaitlyn, a senior who lives in Minnesota.
For comfort, Zohaib calls Kaitlyn no matter the time of day. She always picks up and can always calm Zohaib down after a nightmare. She reminds him that it hasn’t happened yet. Kaitlyn is blind herself due to her condition of renoblastosa.
“Although it’s not exactly the same as me, it’s nice to know someone can relate,” Zohaib said. “Maybe she’s had the same nightmares. She’s the first blind person I met and I go to her for everything. It’s comforting.”
Even with Kaitlyn’s help, Zohaib still has trouble coming to terms with his inevitable blindness.
“I ask myself, ‘what will happen when I go blind?’” Zohaib said. “I still want to see things like Niagara Falls and the Eifel tower. I have the mindset that no one will marry me because I’m blind. There are lots of others things I still have to worry about, too. There are limited jobs to people who are blind, and I have to adjust to living on my own without assistance. I’m not quite sure how to do it yet. I don’t want to be accepting of the situation, but I have to be.”
He hung up the phone and lay back down. For now, he can still see.